Where must I look

Why did I turn my back

I look around and I see unfamiliar faces

Yet the face that makes me happy

Is the face that I put the blame

Which path leads me to a better place

A place where shame cannot shelter

Where is the guiding beam of light

That grants illumination of the mind

I am to bear this burden

Yet the fault is not mine nor his

But ours which we failed to nurse


Peace was ours yet we chose war

Moments of purity was within grasp

Like a petal it was plucked from our souls

We created our destiny and destiny tore us apart

We were good as two

But as one we failed

The bigger picture still lingers in my mind

Yet the small became the priority

Should forgiveness be asked over and over

Should there be another chance given

Will these wounds heal in time

Before love itself expires?







My heart was true

That much he knew

Our love was strong

Where did it go wrong

My mind was clear

Yet we lived in fear

My faith never wavered

It’s yet to be savoured.







I long to be nineteen again when all

I wanted was to chase away my virtues

At the prime of life when childhood fancies

Gave way to adult proclamations

It was a time when beauty was skin-deep

And the pace at which I gambled with life

Never seem to take its toll

Self-indulgence surrendered to no one

And I chose to asphyxiate self-control

Time came and went

With every action unaccounted for

I had no shame but lessons were learnt

And the campaign for truth was linear

Now all that seems true seems careless.







New faces

Adorn my screen

Too young or too old

Nothing in-between


No one left

He’s far and away

Past mistakes

I’m left to pay


Hope fades as

The tide rolls in

I ask myself

To whom have I sinned?







The thought of him cramps my stomach

It is a pain that bears the mark of a martyr

Yet I have been less than self-sacrificing

When all I did was point the finger


This is it for us as a singular

We as plural live lives apart

Him in the country and I in the city

Both forgetting where to start


That is life but it’s not the end

The past has no place in our future

With heart and mind given over

What we destroyed we shall nurture.







My wits stray from sunlight to shadow

While I remember the trip to Vienna

I wipe the sleep from my eyes

And I think of Good Times together


I take a deep breath and exhale

The bitter morning air fills my chest

I clean up the mess that is my home

But fail to clean myself at best


The tune of a fading voice remains

Terre de Hermes lingers in my bed

I change the sheets but to no avail

The scent has settled in my head


Drifting between sunlight and shadow

His memory keeps my bed warm

Days are too long while nights give way

To a sky where thunder clouds form.







I am most ugly

When dull thoughts fill my mind

In the dead of night

The mind stirs with one eye blind

I talk to no one

But everyone hears my cry

Nowhere to turn

I set myself up for the fall

Emotions wane as

And I confuse shock with euphoria

I pray in his name

For the sweet thrill of surrender

My voice dissolves

As I try to make things clearer

Grant me one wish

So we could all sleep easier.







I owe him more than he does to me

Since lies were told both ways

Each and every time we called a truce

We tried to remember better days


As I emerge from the wreck

I stand by this little prophecy

That time will be my healer

To be single without the urgency.







All this talking

And to what end

Fist-less fights

Around the bend


We turn a blind eye

But the damage is done

Another verbal joust

We become undone


All this pain

Without sense or reason

Our moods swing

Like the changing season


My heart is tender

And so is your pride

Where do we go

To put our fears aside


Love is blind

Or so they say

Love is the reason

You should stay


But we rushed a love

That could not be

This is our curse

That much we agree


In time we shall see

What fate will bring

This song now ends

At the onset of Spring.







If and when we meet again

Will it be anti-climatic

Will we be familiar strangers

And laugh at being over-dramatic


If and when we kiss again

Would it make us coy

Our minds once read as one

Where speech needed no voice


Indeed I hope we meet again

When both our manners are calm

For who have not made mistakes

Let those raise their palm


So let us meet each other again

For our lives are fused as one

Even as friends I would not mind

Just say the word and I will come.







Almost a month

And the same charade

Now is the time

That peace is made


Where do we go

To move ahead

This pit where I lie

Has become my bed


I need to know

Who and where you are

I feel you near

When you are far


There comes a time

When our time must end

Only to begin again

As we become friends.