GLORY
BOX
2023
Roads
I see the tunnel
Yet the light is out of reach
My fluid body is in a trance
I dance along these divided lines
The water, ablaze, above me
A fiery furnace of self-illumination
As the music fades
My ears welcome notes of spring
Hope is lost
Is it not?
Praise be to the oenologist!
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Teardrop
That feeling, that passing feeling
Submerges all thoughts of shame
Sentimental fears
Of abandonment
Sets the tone for an early demise
A brilliant death, succumbed
Embosom me
Praise me with adoration
Slowly turn me in this pit as
My flamed, wet juices drip onto a tray
To be consumed, to be used
Flashes of past memories
Warrant manners of reflection
I am speaking to myself
To my soul…
Do you hear me?
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Cardinal
Carmine
Such vivid pigmentation
A figment of my imagination
Perhaps?
Vermilion
The indicator of a sunset
The time to submit to
My urges, perhaps?
Sanguine
My mouth is dry
My complexion pale (almost ivory)
Like this tusk that pierces me
Scarlet
These silk awnings that block the sun
From every waking moment
Welcomes my day with embrace
Rose
Rich silk damask
Threaded tapestry of a life
Emblems of tales woven
Zweigelt
This liquid dew
That swirls around my mouth
My chosen poison, my elixir.
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Monument
This monument to thyself
This cast of bronze
From clay incarnated
This faceless self
Yet carved from soft putty
Enhanced by a certain nothingness
These downward eyes and cleft chin
Childlike in imitation that is
Borne into a sense of verisimilitude
Hark these artist’s hands
Where deep fissures score across a desolate palm
Alas, drawn lines that recite tales of destiny.
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Thank You
Don’t look down at me
Just look at me
Don’t spoil my virginity
You are no angel
Don’t try to comfort me
With your saccharine tenor
Don’t thank me for my hospitality
As I thank you for your scarcity
Let me spill my wine
As its destined for the drain (anyway)
Don’t kiss me goodbye
Since we never really met
Thank you for your sincerity
But kindly abide to mine.
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Wassail
Bruised state of mind
Purple flesh, without you
Battered soul, clenched fist
Hands tied behind your back
Drenched eyes, early morning
Stench of intoxication lingers
As scent of dawn ushers in
Another day of revelry.
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Somebody Else
I see you
But will you discover me?
I feel you
Can you recover my body?
I listen to you
Scorn life’s comedy!
I pray for you
And each prayer echoes my folly.
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Mylo
My heart beats to the rhythm of yours
My arms are gently pulled in your direction
As you lie in your bed, in sweet slumber
I see a life well-lived, well-remembered.
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This is Me
Will I be remembered for my words
Or my art?
Will each visual tapestry convey
Any meaning?
Will songs of praise (and self-deprecation)
Amount to anything?
Will these lyrical thoughts
Continue to sing back at me?
Will my growth and stature
Reveal time’s eternal secret?
Will my angelic endeavour
Release me from this penitentiary?
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Fountain of Youth
This fountain of youth no longer belongs to me
As I drink from this tap that leads me to obscurity
This clear mellifluence enhances my senses, daily
And so it is this gamble that I am willing to pay freely.
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The Spoils
Death-mask
Will you prevail?
Glistening face
Under this starlit sky
Keep me under you
I hope to re-assure you
That this man
Is who he says he is
Let’s keep it this way
Journey along this highway
My butterfly wings
Send shivers down your spine
There is no way out
So keep me intact, cocooned
I need not see the ways of this world
I am happy to stay in this bed.
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School of Life
School of life
What do you teach us?
What words of equality do you spread?
Student of life
What can you confide in me?
What sense in this world can you reveal?
Mother of all beings
As nature unfolds into the 21st century
What world will be saved without perspicuity?
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Dedicate
I dedicate this poem to all those lovers who suffer (silently)
I surrender these words to children led astray
I devote my minutes to my kind… who is my kind (I wonder)?
Wait, let me sacrifice any insight and bewilderment (quietly)
To lost souls, kept in the dark… I am the torch-bearer
Will you follow this flame of conscience, this enigma (eagerly)?
Breathe into me your breath of life (softly)
Apologise not, no doubt you are hurting, craving sanity
I will allow you to join me in this cult (reassuringly)!
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One of Us
This face, his mask
Is this a replicate? A century of mimicry…
Is this pope an advocate of my religion
My supposed saviour?
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Self-sabotage
Self-sabotage
Just another form of pain management
Knowing that sky is the limit
I played chicken with my body…
And my soul.
These cries fall on deaf ears
Alas, there is no need for crying
These tasteless-buds and careless whiffs
Need no earthly body to be efficacious
… To the sky, let this soul fly!
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Sabotage
Its too easy
Its just too easy to reclaim my sense of freedom
From childhood joys to adult anxiety
This clenched fist will not stop the bleeding
This soothing bath calms me
This tainted water, now crimson
Where did it all go wrong?
Live on, my substitute name-sake!
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This Mask
This mask that I wear
All the powder and eye-liner
And for what?
To seek beauty, I exhaust myself
With daily rituals that tire me daily
What is the point of a mask
When all who see me
Sees through me?
These scars that I bear
Will forever be a reminder
Of a life that could have been
Urges and temptations
Become secondary to presentation
Will my death-mask
Be any different?
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Homeostasis
Enter my chest and
Wrench this heart out
Pulsating beats of
An enamoured past
Cruel tears, let down
This reservoir flows fast
Fine lines are drawn
Upon this earthly sanctuary
Cries, unheard, echoes throughout
This Hadean ruin.
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Askew
Somebody let me out of here
Open the gates to this caged sanctuary
This enclosure does not live up
To life’s brochure.
Tranquil it may be
Though I may need a tranquilliser
Into these pumped veins secrete (or)
Crack those fissures upon this rock.
Self-defender
I resume life’s responsibility
All this garbage, may one day save me.
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So Alive
Need not rescue me
This canary will be my eyes and ears
This smoke you exhale, I inhale
My queen, I follow thee.
This wreath of irises
You bestow unto me
Becomes my halo
As I lie here for all to see.
I played you as you tortured me
Have I ever been so alive?
This body resumes sensation
Down the aisle, is it you who unveil’s me?
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Basking in Heaven
The essence of my soul is imbued in these words
Every stringed sentence, I avow
Every filament of an idea, a portrayal
Lies deep within the bosom of passing time.
I am who I am, yet you are not who you are
Should disillusionment mark my flesh
As you and I lie in this same bed, though years apart.
This glowing dream, a dream of yours
I could never comprehend, as you saw fit
Never, never, never, could I slip into this haze
Where you and I lie together asunder.
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I Want You (in Absence)
When sober, we seek good health and longevity
When inebriated, we seek a quick ultimatum.
I want what I see in this glaring mirror
Though does this face want me back?
I want me like I want you
This body is a mold of yours.
Can you not see the resemblance?
My gemini, my twinned-soul… my thorn.
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Oh Dear Father
Do I make you proud?
A life of ‘this’ and ‘that’
Journeying back and forth
From origin to conclusion
Though never quite there.
From wellspring of ideas
To personification of remissness
Do you remember my kindness?
My hard-work and aptitude
Is but a dream without applause (from you).
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Hello and Goodbye
You whose emblem is a bear
You are full of contradictions
You have brought me first loves,
And kindred spirits whom I spoilt…
My time here is almost over
Where will this journey lead me?
Farewell, the time has come
For someone else to cavort with you.
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Song to the Moon (Ode to Rusalka)
These strings that you pull at my heart
Resounds no pleasantries nor echoes of a love
The moon’s gaze fall upon my inner dwellings
The cavernous void of a virginal love.
Beloved, oh! beloved
Does this re-enactment feel real, this opera?
Do these lyrics and syrupy notes persuade
A love that has yet to exist, to transpire?
Satellite of love,
As you traverse my body, this landscape
Your ray of light wanders all around (me)
Is there no refuge from your gaze?
Illuminate all the errors of life
This century, and of bygone centuries
The malevolence, which you have witnessed…
Will you re-appear to me before dawn?
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Dead End
Those dead ends we used to wander into
High flying, sniffing on CD cases
With observers around us, but did we care?
Burger queen, my muse
We conquered the high-streets
And we also went low… behold
I am your King, your redeemer
Should we linger and cast our shadows
Beyond SW3, our kietz?
Into the future, how little did we know
That we would end up here
Back at zero, still lingering.
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Never
You never snarled at me, nor barked at me
You never played with my haberdashery
No socks were bitten, no floor soiled
You never became stereotypical.
Jack you are, but Jack you are not
You are my Mylo, my cherished companion
Morning greetings by my bedside
Would lead to a tender kiss at bedtime.
Who will fill this void, this memory?
When, alas, to Avalon you ascend
Taking with you a part of me
Though a part of you equally remains.
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I’ll Die Before I Tell
Will I live to tell
This narrative of a life quite elementary
Who will listen to me anyway? What heartache?
Holy Mother, you are well acquainted
With all my blasphemies, my secrets
How long will this candle burn?
This flickering in the darkness
Is no darkness to you… Light eternal
Will you indulge me with another whim?
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I
Let loose your anger
Run this river
Vacuum all emotions
And wave destiny goodbye.
Break these bones
Perhaps another chance at living?
Take these eyes
Before I consume life’s beauty
Shake this soul
And spread the good word.
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Farewell (Ode to Marissa)
Farewell dear Father
These are my final words to you
But what is this finality
When all that remains
Is a silhouette of you?
My mind has captured you
In black and white
But this canvas is painted in blood
Will I long to recognise your face
With each passing hour?
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26th July 2023 (Ode to Sinead)
Farewell dear friend
A wandering soul, like myself
I still hear your voice
Through a screen
You were never too far
But far enough to be out of reach
Our hands finally touch
Like palms in prayer.
The tears shed
Moisten incensed thoughts
Like a petal in a drought
You harnessed pluvial.
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Teardrop II
Silhouette of a daydream
Dances in the shadows
By the lake, amidst the water’s edge
A mist descends that
Harbours an urgent call.
Whose echo is this?
This frail call
Still rings in my ears
Who can tell where dream ends
And reality begins?
Teardrop, my eternal song
You attack me from behind
But lingers to apologise
Is it worth a thousand tears
When a drop says it all?
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Infiltrate
Infiltrate me, my cells,
This harmony you convinced me of
No longer exists.
Shake me, annihilate all senses
Perhaps, then, I will follow thee.
After dusk and before dawn
Pray for me as much as I pray for you
Let us not reach for Gehenna.
Bed my soul, not my spirit
As withered blossoms lay by my side
These roses have yet to bloom.
Reflect in this mirror
Not of yourself, but your soul.
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Mr. Writer
A life divided into chapters…
Will my other half understand me?
Will he try to tinker with this sort of inebriation
Where joy is plentiful, and sorrow succumbed?
Will anyone see the beauty I created
By these once soft palms?
Or will this red rose
Wither before it’s scent is captured.
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Roll of the Dice
Who are you?
Who am I
To judge?
In realms of chance where fate holds sway,
A game of life unfolds its play,
A concept woven, tried and true,
The roll of dice, both old and new.
Within each cube, uncertainty lies,
A world of outcomes in disguise,
From snake eyes low to sevens high,
Destinies shift as moments fly.
Oh, fickle dice, you cast the lot,
Deciding paths that may be sought,
With every roll, a choice unfurls,
As destiny spins, a dance of pearls.
In shadows cast by randomness,
We find our joys and sorrows dress,
For in this gamble, we partake,
And learn the lessons it does make.
The gambler's heart, a daring soul,
Courageous in a quest for goal,
Embracing twists that chance may throw,
With every cast, a story grows.
Yet life's not bound by chance alone,
Our actions shape what's truly known,
We hold the dice within our hand,
A mix of fate and will so grand.
So let us roll with open eyes,
Embrace the thrill that chance implies,
For in each toss, we find the key,
To unlock life's serendipity.
By loving someone
You must not hold them hostage
When they love you no more
Love becomes sympathy
When love is not reciprocal.
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Outro
This atom of a mind
Falling leaves brush against this visage
Sinking into an eternal abyss
This drenched bouquet I hold close.
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16 Years
My dusk, my dawn
My everything
Hands sent forth to heaven
No soul left un-turned
Mylo, my love
I pray that you survive me.
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Halo
Scratch these palms
Cut these wrists
Hidden faces
Amidst this circus…
Where do these prayers ascend?
Light comes after darkness
But darkness always prevails
So where is the light…
Prayers are not manifestations.
Time heals as
We clap these hands
In celebration…
But what is healed at this eclipse?
Dissect this pain
As tremor resounds
But there is no quake…
Beneath, you cry Hallelujah.